I have been sitting here staring at my boys, how do I tell them, how do I tell them that we are in for a fight, how can I protect their little hearts, and then a small voice reminds me its not me that can protect them but Jesus. We had out Bible study today, and it really was right in my feelings on where I am. Joseph was sold, tricked and jailed, forgotten, but could look at it all and see God’s invisible hand all through it. What do I want my legacy to be with my boys, faith, trust, full surrender no matter how much we may not be ready for the valley, BE A PETER, not afraid. Today at this moment I am ready to toss my “net” and go. I have a call into the insurance to see how much I can expect the treatments to be.

I ask for prayers that the boys will need to be told because treatment will start and they will more then likely need to go somewhere I doubt they can come with me, and at this stage I don’t think its good for them. How has God already been moving through this: my appointment got pushed up from June to May, because of my dad we caught mine early, treatments are available for me that were not available for my dad, I have had people already reach out to watch the boys, someone mentioned a company that helps pay for the treatments, I have gotten more free downloads where I can dig into God’s word then ever before, Brad is solid right now so I can fall apart if I need to, I found a great dr that gave out his personal email to help me, God has been weaving in and out of all this, so why should I be afraid of what I don’t know?

Yes my life has changed, but with God why do I fear? If I keep repeating that maybe I can get my head and heart on the same page. Jesus use me, use this, for nothing but your glory! I pray that when my boys look at me, they say a mama that walked with the Lord each step of the way, even when she fell she looked to the only one that could pick her up. I pray that they carry that with them, I pray for the words when we tell them, I pray that Jesus holds their hearts…..”rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness” Colossians 2:7 thats my daily prayer….help me Jesus be rooted and built up in YOU

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