By I am loving Sunday’s, my prayer was the same again that God speak loud and clear that I know the message is just for me. He did. It’s frustrating the past few days I have been off, swelling for no reason, fatigued, and my heart just can feel it and that feeling can be so scary at times and uncomfortable. I have been in my Bible studying so God has protected my mind from going crazy, and it still seems weird to me to be ok with all this right now but I am. Today during Sunday school Dusty made a statement that trials and issues push us to God and we often go deeper so we should be thankful for them, and it made me think. Am I thankful for Amyloidosis? Can I be thankful for it? As of right now Brad can’t come into the testing with me so him and the boys will do something fun while waiting on me, which means we plan on telling them soon, not all the details but that my heart is sick and will need medicine for it. As I sit here and look at them, I pray they know there mama loves Jesus through it all, I hope that if God chooses to take me before they turn into adults they always remember to look to Him when life gets rough. I’ve got a New Testament set of Bibles, each book is its own book it’s a journaling one, I started so I can leave notes, so they know what’s important they can look back and I can too. Praying for June 2nd, praying for strength for my boys as their world is about to be turned upside down. Praying that God uses me, that He gets the glory out of this… that I go deeper then ever before. Praying for strength, I’m tired lately and it makes my mind want to wonder, praying God keeps me focused, praying one day I fully tods my “ net”
