It’s been a crazy few days with lots of emotions. My appointment with Dr. Judge is June 30th where we will go over the rest of the results see what my next steps will be. They are so backed up as MUSC was closed for inhouse appointments since March and now trying to get everyone in is just crazy. I was anxious because the being still and waiting are what I struggle with.
My legs and hands are falling asleep more, and I have dropped a lot of things lately, and that just becomes frustrating at times. Tuesday night our study is working on Revelation, and I am doing a study on The God you may not know by David Jeremiah and I can say that I could not do this journey without Him. My mind wants to figure out where this peace all of a sudden came from, why my prayer is no longer for healing but for God to use me no matter what that looks like, and my mind just cant seem to comprehend that.
But I have a peace about all of this, that I didnt have before, a peace that can only come from God. Being in His Word, studying and learning who He really is, He wouldn’t leave me. He already knows what tomorrow will be and what will happen June 30th. My job is to have His light shine so bright from me that there is not a question how I do it. I pray for my boys, Jacob is still in that me stage and hard for him to see outside of that so my sickness doesnt really change him. Bradley is wise beyond his 10 years on earth, and while he cant ever say what it is, it comes out in other ways. I pray that God is so loud to them, they can’t ignore Him, that they dont even realize we are in a valley because God is here! I don’t know what this Amyloidosis walk will look like, and God is working on me not having to know, but trusting that He is already there.