Last night I went to a Bible study and it was great, great conversations and had me really thinking. Brad has been coming, but he had to work all day because someone called out, some days him being a manager is just a lot to take. He came home last night around 10:30 and I saw how tired he was, not physically although I am sure he was, but just beaten down tired. So of course because my mind is what it is, I immediately go towards this is too much for him, this Amyloidosis walk is too much, and we haven’t hit the bad part of it yet. I pray God just gives our whole family a renewed strength. I had a rough night, my hands and legs were too much to take, I think around 3 am I was crying out to God to just have them cut off because the pain was too great.
I have my appointment with Dr. Judge today, and hoping we have somewhere to go from here. I am in the middle of when I want treatment to start, my whole life will change, and at this point I have no idea how much it will cost us, just that the medicine itself is 274,000 a year, which is crazy! People should have to depleat all they have to save their life. But that’s another blog post, I know God will work it out, He always does, so why do I worry about these things? My mind and my heart are in a constant battle, Sunday was a high, today should be another great high my sister is coming down for 2 weeks and we have a list of projects to do. But then my mind wanders to my dad’s journey and how quickly downhill he went once the neuropathy started, and I wonder will this be the last time. What does this next year look like? I stare at my boys and I think there is so much to teach them yet, Matt talked about it in church Sunday, I have a lot of work to do. I can’t stay here, God has this, God has us, He said He will never leave me, and I trust that, I believe that! ……My God did not fail……..this is the story I’ll tell…that song stays on repeat….He knew Amyloidosis would be here, He knew what was coming, and He will be there each step of the way. Judge then sister time and projects!!! ❤️