I have been quiet because its been hard and I want to be the one that is uplifting others. It hurts me to see my friends hurt, to see Brad hurt and my boys. Last Thursday Bradley watched me like a hawk leaving his football practice in case I fell, and while that is the sweetest thing it hurt my heart. That’s a burden he shouldn’t have, and it just broke my mama heart. It is days like that, that I want to hold all of this on my shoulders, and forget that it exists, but then its time to take the medicine or the pain becomes unbearable and I am forced to face it.

Someone asked me if I was still doing life group and Tuesday study, YES!! YES!!! YES!!!!! YES!!!!! My whole goal on earth is to serve God and spread His word, regardless of what’s going on in my life. I will be doing both those things and anything else that God lays down for me to do until He calls me home. Please don’t be afraid to ask me because of Amyloidosis and what’s going on. I am not going to break, I may fall sometimes or stumble lol, but let me serve where God wants me to serve.

It’s been a week on the medicine and I am told it can take months to a year before you can feel a difference. I just pray that it stabilizes that rouge gene of mine and no more damage is done for awhile I have a bucket list I want to complete. That’s my first prayer, my second is that God use this, oh that God uses this for His glory, for my family, for the ones reading my words, that He uses me whatever that may look like.

I am often reminded of Paul, and his thorn in his side, we don’t know what that was, and while he wanted it gone, God used it. I know I have become closer to God, I have realized how precious life is, and truly cherished each moment. I appreciate the rain, hugs more, and I have seen my family draw closer to God, so I know He is already using this and for that I am thankful.

People say what great faith I have, and I would be failing them if I didnt tell of the 5 days that passed, where I have been crying on and off, wondering why, why this, why so early in life, and I have friends who bring me back on track and tell me to adjust my crown, and know who I belong to. And then I am brought back to Paul one of my favorites from the Bible, and am reminded in my weakness is when God’s strength comes. And why not now, look all I have learned in just these 7 months……

Onward we go…..a week down……and a week of Gods grace covering me…..

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