I think the hardest part of Amyloidosis is protecting my family and friends from it. One of the things that we are working on is working with a drug company to do videos, stories for the website, to bring awareness to Amyloidosis since its not well known, and while doing this we can bring glory to God as well. So I had my interview on Tuesday and Brad had his last night and it broke my heart. Because I want more for him, I don’t want this. She (Elizabeth the interviewer) asked how life has changed for him, and he stated that we don’t go out as much as once, we have to be careful how much walking/distance will be involved and that he himself watches me more, is more aware when I am walking. She asked about the future and he said he is aware of the future with seeing my dad that we know how this will play out in the end.
These parts of the disease are what frustrate me so much. Thursday at football 1/2 way to where we go I thought my legs were just going to just give out, I cant really talk when walking because I am really focusing on my feet hitting the ground because I cant always feel it and thats when I stumble and fall. Of course Bradley was on the side watching to make sure I am ok, and then Brad and it just truly breaks my heart.
Today is one of those days I am just tired, tired of fighting my body, tired of limits I am facing, today the mountain to climb seems impossible I know its a moment, I know with God I will move past this moment, but today right here right now I am tired.
I am trying so hard to lose weight but my body fights me with that, it holds on to weight like no one’s business! And it doesnt help that the numbness in my legs and arms are getting worse each day, and it makes me worried that this medicine isn’t stabilizing anything. It can take a few months before we would notice any change but it still scares me, because if its not then its another battle with the insurance company.
Tomorrow is another day…tonight I think I will curl up in the coach with a nice soft blanket and pretend its fall outside, lol, because I am over the summer, I want hoodies and sweatpants stat! 🙂