I want to start off and say thank you for all the prayers yesterday they meant the world to me, when my heart was broken so much I just couldn’t go on my own. Mondays is one of my work out days, and my body screamed not to go, I really wanted to sit on the couch and just cry all day. But I have 4 eyes that watch me, and watch how I am handling things. I just got on Bradley about his lack of conditioning if he really wants to play football how would that look. So I went, and I am so sore today, but you know what it was so worth it. I had great fellowship, and it every move I did hurt more then I could imagine so I closed my eyes and prayed each time. When my heart was too tired to pray, my body made sure thats just what I did. I also go to a Bible study Monday night and I wanted to skip that too because the work out ran late, and I fell as soon as I got home and would be about 20 minutes late. I told the boys we weren’t going and God quickly reminded me that I needed to go. It was just what I needed to hear that God wants us to finish the race, whatever the race looks like finish with Grace and bring as many as we can with us.
Dr. Judge wants me to see Dr. Polydefkis in Baltimore and called to see if he was doing telehealth visits and he was. They called me yesterday and told me insurance won’t pay for that because I am out of state. She was going to talk to the Dr and see what he suggest. Amyloidosis is so hard that fighting with insurance is a variant that shouldn’t really be a factor.
Amyloidosis doesnt appear to be slowing down, but it does appear to be moving, so to get me on a silencer is key. They can prove the Amyloidosis is the heart and thats what got me on the stabilizer but insurance needs 100% proof in the nerves and that’s what’s difficult because you can biopsy the nerve and miss their amyloid but .1. I don’t understand how insurance has so much power over a disease they probably cant even pronounce. But this is where I am at.
My fingers keeping going blue and writing the past 2 days have been difficult. I am told that more then likely its the lack of flow from my heart, and I will probably need a PYPC scan sooner then later, and that means a trip to Charleston.
It’s extremely hard not to imagine my dad’s journey being mine. Amyloidosis is not a fair disease and some days it just downright scares me because I can’t see what it is doing. Yesterday was one of those days, today I am renewed. I have a race to finish and finish well. Today I boldly walk to the throne of God and asking for miracles and mountains to be moved, but understand that they may still be there and today I am ok with that. God has blessed with amazing friends, who pray when I just can’t raise my own hands. Who won’t let me just fall and stay there.
No matter what you are facing today, it may be the hardest thing you are dealing with, but know God has placed a race in front of you and we are to finish it with grace and bring as many as we can. Let’s not let the thorn in our side poison the fruit that God has given us. We can do this! I can do this!