“ The winter storms made way for spring, in every season, from where I’m standing, I see the evidence of Your goodness, all over my life.”-Evidence Josh Baldwin

This song has spoke to my heart lately, because no matter the season, no matter the disease, no matter the situation I see God’s goodness all over my life. Yesterday was work out day, and today I feel every muscle in my body and I absolutely love it. If you would of said that I would make that statement a few months ago I would of laughed and told you you were crazy. While working out is not my favorite thing to do, I love when I have finished a work out, I love what it means to me. Amyloidosis is robbing my body, I know the road that this will take, unless a cure is found, or God Himself comes and changes the course. Brad is off this week (that is a blessing all in itself) and yesterday we went to the Dollar Store and then Walmart and had to come home because my legs were so heavy, so tired, and it is so frustrating because I want to go. For those 3 hours a week, I force my body to work, and for that hour I feel like I have control, I feel empowered over Amyloidosis.

For those 3 hours Amyloidosis isn’t who I am, but I am Faye working out with a great bunch of ladies, who encourage each other, who empower each other, and yes complain with each other as we Leo the 120th squat. For those 3 hours, I laugh, for those 3 hours I forget what the road looks like ahead and focus on the now. It is so much more then a workout for me, and I know that God Himself gives me the strength to get through. Yesterday was the first day that by the end my legs to my knees were numb, but I finished, and not because of my strength but who is inside me. I stumbled a bit more yesterday then I did the other days, and I could sit here and worry about what that means, I still haven’t gotten an answer for the Baltimore doctor and what that looks like, and I stumbled a whole bunch last night, and around 4 am I woke up because the pain in my hands was too much to take, but in all that I still see the evidence of God’s goodness! Someone the other day asked how could I see goodness in Amyloidosis a disease by the medical community is described as horrible, unfair, and fast moving debilitating fatal disease.

There are many, in the end I know where I am going, and I know my family and friends I will see again. God has given me an amazing group of friends, who cry with me, rejoice with me, pray with and for me, and let me just be me. My family has grown deeper then I think we ever could of without Amyloidosis, I know myself I am in my Bible so much more, and I see it in Brad. My boys are digging deeper, and yes while its painful for them to see their mama struggle, and sometimes the brain of a 9 and 10 year old can’t always understand, they also see a mama who loves Jesus, who NEVER gives up, and I pray that they always keep that if I am here 6 more months or 60 more years. Medical bills have pilled up and it can be so overwhelming but God each time provides. We all know this life is temporary and it doesnt last forever but if we are honest we forget that, we all have this imagine of living well into our 80’s and 90’s even though we fully understand we could leave this earth at any moment. I got complacent with that, and one thing Amyloidosis has taught me was to enjoy each moment, look at the colors, make the memory, and just be present in all situations.

So while the medical community describes Amyloidosis as this absolutely horrible disease, I can see the evidence of God’s goodness all through it. Friday morning I see the Retina Specialist and we will see what they say. My right eye stays blurry now, so if you wave from afar or I am staring at you for a length of time and not waving its because I am trying to see, lol! I am not worried about it, God is already there, and if my eyes go from Amyloidosis I can’t wait to see where He takes me.Thank you for all the prayers, today we enjoy life, we push ourselves to physically, mentally, and spiritually to go deeper then you ever thought you could go, you won’t regret it. I am so thankful that God has sent me amazing people to walk this journey with, they call me superwomen but they have no idea they are mine. 💜🙌🏻

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