Numb

Sometimes when talking to people face to face I speak so casually about Amyloidosis and what it’s doing, and I don’t mean to, because it can be a shock value to some, and some friends have stepped away because the journey is to hard, and I get that I really do. I don’t take this disease causal by any means but I am trying to accept God’s will with it, no matter where that takes me. Some days I can do that, some days I am just numb, and some days I just fall on my face in tears crying out to Him. Since last night I have been having chest pains again.

The same ones that started me on this path to reach out to the dr and say I dont know what it is but something isn’t right. I am also swelling a good bit again. I had a call into the dr because it wasn’t letting up. He doubled my water pill for today and I already had an appointment to see him tomorrow, told me while working out to take it very slow and careful till he saw me tomorrow. What he is thinking is that the fluid pills are just not working anymore, and need to be increased.

What I hear, the disease is moving. Right now I feel like my heart is going to fly out of my chest, and I am sure I wont get much sleep tonight. Tomorrow they are cutting a few things to get some biopsy’s and I dont know the details because it would give me more to worry about needles and I dont do so well together unless I am getting a pretty picture on my skin. LOL Brad will drive me and him and the boys will hang out till I am done. Prayers are appreciated that amyloid is shown in what needs to be so I can get on the medicine I need to slow this disease down. I am going to try and sleep tonight but doubt I will get much.