I pray that for every time I complain about something that in the next sentence I am thankful for something. We started the new diuretic on Thursday at 8:30am, and since then I have lost a total of 38 pounds of fluid. I had no idea that I was feeling so horrible that this fluid was causing so many issues. I was feeling good. Saturday Brad had off, so we went to Gaffney to walk around and do some Christmas shopping, it was such a beautiful day out. I started out great, and then my legs started. We had to take lots of breaks so I could rest them. When we got to the car, I said I am so tired of my legs not working right, and without even thinking I finished with but I am glad that I am still able to use them. I pray that with everything that comes that I continue to see that, yes somethings are bad, somethings are not the way I want them to be, but I pray to always see the God, always see God working and molding me. I have amyloid in the heart, and what that means is it makes my heart stiff, and unable to remove fluid. I have amyloid in the GI, somewhere and what that means is sometimes food and I are not friends.
On the way home yesterday my stomach revolted. That’s what I call it, because it doesnt matter if I eat toast, chicken, the RICE diet, it just goes bad quick. Since yesterday I have dealt with my stomach revolting where I am afraid to eat and be far from home. I will be talking to the dr about how we can help that. I haven’t had this bad of an issue since we were in Tennessee. I have amyloid in my nerves, and that just means I lose feelings in legs, feet, and hands. It also means there is pain and numbness.
Yesterday I woke up at 3am, my legs hurt so bad I wanted to cut them off, but it gave me time to pray for others, to talk to God in complete silence. No chance of my dog seeing something add barking, no kids asking me a questions, no phone going off, just silence, God and me. I see Dr. Judge on the 17th, and I have lots of questions this time. The fluid pills work great but they keep me tied to the house, I am literally in the bathroom every 5 minutes and it tapers off but then I take them again in the afternoon. So will this be forever? I. I wish I could say I was always in this place, but I am not, but for right now I am good. I am trying to enjoy the Christmas season and make lots of memories. can look at Amyloidosis and see all the bad coming, the limitations that are placed on me, I could fear the walk, fear the ending, but there are so many little things that God has placed in my life, to let me know He is still here, He is still in control, regardless of insurance, medicine, or disease.
God has placed AMAZING friends and prayor warriors in my life, I have the BEST workout group to be a part of, faith, fitness, and fellowship its amazing and it really challenges me and my body in a safe place. We were gifted tickets to the Billy Graham library, we have never been and I cant wait to make precious memories with my family. We belong to an AWESOME church with great people. I have 2 of the best Amyloidosis Dr’s working with me, who give up so much of their own personal time. And God has given me this platform to show His goodness, His faithfulness, and His strength, because walking one foot in front of the other is all from Him. So today is hard, but I had 2 really good days, and I know I am not alone, I know He is with me. I pray that anytime I complain, the next is a praise, the next is thankfulness because thats where the growth begins….