Oh to have the faith that Habakkuk had!

He couldn’t fully see the whole picture YET he rejoiced in the Lord. Today I woke up and my stomach was rock hard, which means I am once again holding fluid. After a conversation with Judge we made some adjustments and since 8:30 this morning I have now lost 14 pounds in fluid, my blood pressure is high, and my brain feels fuzzy. He mentioned that a hospital stay may be in order to regulate things. That of course is not in my plans, so I have been struggling all morning, asking God over and over why I have to walk this road, it’s too hard, It’s too much for me.

I remembered the Bible study I have called Even if on the book of Habakkuk and o how I could relate to him. First he wanted to know why God wasn’t doing anything, then when God told him He was, Habakkuk didn’t like that either, but then Habakkuk wrote sweet praises to God. His situation never changed but he was reminded who God was. I was reminded that even in Jeremiah peace and joy don’t come from me, it’s not something of this world it comes from Him, and as soon as I take my eyes off of Him and look at Amyloidosis it’s gone, it makes the road to hard, because I was never meant to walk this road alone. Today is dark, today is lonely, and today is hard but this isn’t the end of the story, there is so much more that I can’t see and that’s where my focus needs to be. My whole life I was in and out of God’s word, never took it serious never fully understood it, until 7 years ago when He placed Lucy in front of me and she showed me who God was. 7 years ago, He knew what was coming and knew I could never do it alone, 7 years ago He called me again….and I answered.

Today is dark YET the light is coming. Today I feel alone YET He is with me….today I pray for the YET that is to come because this really isnt the end, I am just passing through…NOW I will look up and see that He is good, He is faithful, and He never leaves me. I pray that you feel that too, that in your darkest moments, that you will allow the light to pierce in, that your prayer will be a prayer of YET……I know mine is!

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