Weak

I am trying to live this verse, but some days it is a struggle for me. Today was football and it was hot, and the sun was just blaring down on you. There were steps to get to the seats, and even walking down, I noticed just how weak my legs were. We got in our seats and 15 minutes in my legs were bright red and swelling, 30 minutes in and my heart rate was up to 120, and Bradley still didn’t play yet.

I went up to the shade for a bit but it was standing room only and once again it was a struggle to walk the steps and for a few minutes I was so mad. Mad that this was happening and scared on what if my legs leave me completely. I have so much yet to do.

Bradley and the team played great, but they did not have much resistance from the other team. He scored a touchdown but Brad didn’t get it because his phone got to hot and shut off!

I say all this because today was hard, very hard, but so many lessons were learned. Bradley and Jacob both saw that push yourself, and do things for love. They also saw both parents praise God for things, I was there, and it is only by God that I made it. As soon as we came home, my body fully revolted and I am done already for the weekend. I am swollen and exhausted, but I was there.

God is still working on me, He is still refining me, and I am still trying to walk in His will and not mine. Wednesday we go and get the results from all the tests we had. I had a conversation with a friend, that I already know what is going to be said. She said that God can do anything, and I am fully aware that God can take Amyloidosis away if He wanted to, and I am also aware that He can not take it away, and I am trying to walk the walk He has laid out for me.

Still working…still refining me….still growing….