By 
These past 2 weeks have been hard, a hard I am really struggling with. Sunday at church people could see my hard, and that bothers me. I was struggling to breath and still am. I am holding more fluid then I need to and it is backing into my lungs which is causing me to …
Praying for the light
I am in a dark place, I know it, but yet I feel myself unable to crawl out. I feel like our family keeps getting belted with things and it has become too much. I hear the lies from Satan, I know they are from him, yet I find myself finding truth in them. I …
Refine me
I am being refined, each trial, each setback God is showing me where I am drawing the lines in the sand, God is showing me how I am still not surrendering. Last week was hard, all week I was on new water pills and lost about 42 pounds of fluid. I cried to Brad that …
Make me willing….
God is constantly showing me areas where I lack faith, trust, and willingness. He is refining me as I continue to put Him on a time line. 2 weeks ago we had some precious friends come over and pray over us, that was Sunday night, Monday I expect to wake up and jump out of …
Learning
Sunday night was a low for me, I felt angry, then shame, and then even embarrassed as though my will enough would make my legs work better. It was a roller coaster of emotions and like I stated in my video (video was made Sunday night, its long but on here) I came in the …
Rare Disease Day
Today is rare disease day. ATTR (Amyloidosis) right now is still considered rare although more and more are being discovered and it may not stay that way. What a relief that would be, that would mean more treatment and research being done, and maybe a cure to be had. I inherited Amyloidosis from my dad, …
Whirlwind
Yesterday I felt defeated, I felt pressed on every side. I was told to lose 20 pounds of fluid, and I did. Homebound but I did. Then my heart went crazy. I would be sitting here and my heart rate was 136, and my heart was fluttering like I had 5 energy drinks. Wednesday night …
Not Shaken
Not shaken keeps coming up, coming up in our Tuesday night Bible study, coming up in songs that I have listened to for months and now that is all I hear. In my daily devotionals, it seems to be everywhere. This week has been difficult, and once again I found myself at a place accepting …
Thankful
This verse was in my devotional today, and how fitting it is. These past few days have been rough. My hands not to be outdone by my legs have been losing function. I am dropping things more often then not. Our dishes are super heavy, and have become to heavy for me. I went to …
Choice
My goal this year was to look at what I have not what I am losing. It is a daily choice, a choice I have to sometimes force myself to make, and make moment by moment. These past few days I feel like satan is just sending me flash cards of all the things going …