Last night was the first night since this whole Amyloidosis journey started that I cried in front of Brad and told him I was angry. His response, why? I think if we were not sitting at the table I might have punched him, lol! He has a peace with it, and is ready to walk with God and I through this journey. He is worried about the money for treatments, he is not worried about how the end will look, just that with God we will walk it together. I feel better today, I am in the numb stage. He brought up again how God 10 years ago was already laying the ground work for me. If my dad never got the diagnosis of Amyloidosis, I would still be bouncing back and forth to doctors looking for what the problem is. I am young for this disease to hit already it usually hits 50’s or older but there are cases when it hits my age.
Amyloidosis without my dad’s diagnosis would never have been on the radar, BUT GOD. Brad said that God was already putting things in motion back then for right now, so how could we not have a peace when His hand is all in it already. Brad makes sense, and I cried more. What a difference from the man who used to sit on the couch why the boys and I went to church, now he is telling me how to have peace. While my heart is breaking for him, he is ready, armed with God and taking steps. I am the one laying on the floor grabbing all I can to just pause this for a minute and catch my breath. Last night was rough with the pain in my legs, today they just are concrete blocks, thats what they feel like anyway. I met the nutrionist on Thursday at 2:50 I am hoping they have good advice on what to do, although I love my carbs, lol! Peace beyond understanding is what Brad said we need to have….Peace is what we need to walk through this valley…..I know God is there, I know God will protect all hearts…..